Homer Simpson: "Simpson, Homer Simpson. He's the greatest guy in history. From the town of Springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut tree... aahhh!"

Eric Cartman: "I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!"

Jimbo: "Hell, everything's legal in Mexico. It's the American way."

Peter Griffin: "By the way Lois, I got a piercing over there. I'm not going to tell you where but I will give you a hint--it wasn't on my nose or my ear and it was one of my balls."